Well folks, this is where we end. The first season of NHL Horoscopes are coming to a close.
Right as Taurus season is about to transition into Gemini season, an absolutely wild time for the NHL playoffs to begin. Who knows what will happen? The energy isn’t going to stay consistent, that’s for sure.
The postseason will shift into Cancer at some point and will end with the first ever Cancer Stanley Cup Final, so that’ll be fun.
Here’s some final horoscopes for the postseason-bound clubs and the ones who won’t be back on the ice again in a competitive setting until *Virgo* season at the earliest. Best of luck!
• Boston Bruins: Highest concentration in Taurus
Taurus Brad Marchand is finishing another stellar season.
Horoscope: Maybe they peaked at the right time, maybe the playoffs aligning with their main sun sign is just a good sign.
Do: Taylor Hall Don’t: Step off the gas x2
• Buffalo Sabres: Highest concentration in Sagittarius
Horoscope: Welp. See you next season.
Do: Idk man the Jack Eichel stuff was rough Don’t: Idk where to begin
• Washington Capitals: Highest concentration in Taurus/Virgo
Virgo Alex Ovechkin is going to need a strong postseason.
Horoscope: Injuries and inconsistencies should be a concern.
Do: Prep for the Bruins Don’t: Dangerous hits maybe
• New York Rangers: Highest concentration in Aquarius
The Rangers were officially eliminated last week.
Horoscope: Well that’s one less Aquarius team.
Do: Offseason shuffle Don’t: Drama for like 5 minutes
• New York Islanders: Highest concentration in Aquarius
Taurus goalie Semyon Varlamov has been solid.
Horoscope: Do they have it in them to surge offensively in the postseason? They’ve done it before and now they have to again.
Do: Scoring Don’t: Overthink the Pens
• New Jersey Devils: Highest concentration in Scorpio/Sagittarius
The season is nearly over, mercifully.
Horoscope: It’s a limp to the finish line.
Do: Positive finish Don’t: Discourage young guys
• Philadelphia Flyers: Highest concentration in Taurus
Pisces Joel Farabee finished with 20 goals.
Horoscope: Can the Flyers assume Leo goalie Carter Hart is going to bounce back? That’s a huge key to the offseason.
Do: Joel Farabee future Don’t: Boring offseason
• Pittsburgh Penguins: Highest concentration in Leo/Taurus
Leo Sidney Crosby might not be a Hart candidate but he’s sure playing well.
Horoscope: Taurus season is always time to shine for the Penguins, we’ll see if they can keep it up during a Gemini sun, too.
Do: Offense Don’t: Forget Jarry could win the goalie scoring title
• Detroit Red Wings: Highest concentration in Aquarius
Well at least there is Scorpio Filip Hronek.
Horoscope: Alright, we’re here. Step on the gas.
Do: Draft prep x2 Don’t: Rely on defensive scoring.
• Tampa Bay Lightning: Highest concentration in Gemini
Gemini Nikita Kucherov, soon.
Horoscope: Are the Lightning being kind of forgotten? Feels dangerous.
Do: Ignore the salary cap Don’t: Too much for Stamkos
• Florida Panthers: Highest concentration in Virgo
Leo Carter Verhaeghe is back.
Horoscope: Florida has been arguably the hottest team in the league heading into the playoffs. That’s good news since they have the Lightning in the First Round.
Do: Wins at homes Don’t: Overthinking
• Carolina Hurricanes: Highest concentration in Cancer/Aries
Leo Sebastian Aho has stayed hot.
Horoscope: Are we ready to talk about the Hurricanes being the best team in the league?
Do: Stay surging Don’t: Too much
• Nashville Predators: Highest concentration in Gemini
Horoscope: Which Predators are we going to see in the postseason? The ones who can go on an extended run or the ones who look severely overmatched?
Do: Juuse Saros Don’t: Gemini it up too bad
• Dallas Stars: Highest concentration in Gemini and Cancer
Aquarius Tyler Seguin‘s return was just a tad too late.
Horoscope: A season of what could have been and a season of what didn’t.
Do: Regroup x2 Don’t: Overanalyze
• Chicago Blackhawks: Heaviest concentration in Aries
Sagittarius Alex DeBrincat had a stellar season.
Horoscope: Perhaps there’s something to their future after all. They have to feel good about some of the young guys.
Do: Alex DeBrincat Don’t: Sit around
• Columbus Blue Jackets: Heaviest concentration in Cancer
Cancer coach John Tortorella is out.
Horoscope: How does the Tortorella era get remembered in Columbus? The bad stretches were bad but the last six years were by far the most competitive they have ever been.
Do: New coach new era Don’t: Stay stagnant on defense
• Minnesota Wild: Highest concentration in Virgo and Cancer
Taurus Kirill Kaprizov might be *the* guy to watch in the playoffs.
Horoscope: Is it even a hot take to say the Wild might be one of the scariest teams in the postseason?
Do: Home cooking Don’t: Get cocky with Vegas
• St. Louis Blues: Highest concentration in Cancer and Aries
Horoscope: Just not feeling it.
Do: Scoring Don’t: Get swept
[NHL Power Rankings: Hurricanes take top spot; Beware of Lightning]
• Arizona Coyotes: Highest concentration in Leo
Not a super exciting team and now a whimper into the offseason.
Horoscope: Arizona needs to find a way to insert any offense into their lineup. They need more than what they have.
Do: Movin’ on Don’t: Stand pat
• San Jose Sharks: Highest concentration in Aries
Well there is Scorpio Tomas Hertl.
Horoscope: It feels like this might be the Sharks for like, a while? Is there much evidence they’re going to contend again soon?
Do: Regroup for next season Don’t: Stagnation
• Vegas Golden Knights: Highest concentration in Leo
Capricorn Jonathan Marchessault needs to stay hot for the playoffs.
Horoscope: Playing with 15 skaters isn’t a recipe for winning eh? Bad luck finish.
Do: 18 skaters Don’t: Play Minnesota
• Anaheim Ducks: Heaviest concentration in Aquarius
Don’t cry because it’s over, cry because it happened.
Horoscope: Have to build around Cancer goalie John Gibson.
Do: Game plan Don’t: Bad contracts
• Los Angeles Kings: Highest concentration in Libra
We simply do not talk about Virgo Anze Kopitar enough.
Horoscope: Not sure what direction they go in but feels like some eras need to end.
Do: Goaltending Don’t: All old guys
• Colorado Avalanche: Highest concentration in Scorpio
Sagittarius goalie Philipp Grubauer will be key in the postseason
Horoscope: The Avalanche control their own destiny, but do Scorpios really control anything in Taurus season.
Do: Goaltending Don’t: Lose to the Kings
• Vancouver Canucks: Heaviest concentration in Cancer and Libra
Boy this is a tough one.
Horoscope: How do the Canucks get better in this cap situation? It might be a long offseason.
Do: Regroup Don’t: Ignore cap situation
• Calgary Flames: Heaviest concentration in Pisces
It’s too late to get hot, guys!
Horoscope: So close to a hot girl summer and yet so far. They’re actually playing well but aren’t heading to the postseason.
Do: Evaluate Don’t: Return the same team
• Edmonton Oilers: Heaviest concentration in Cancer and Libra
Capricorn Connor McDavid hit 102 points, like come on.
Horoscope: The Oilers will avoid the Leafs until the second round, so at least that is good news.
Do: Rely on top guys Don’t: Overhype
• Winnipeg Jets: Heaviest concentration in Aries
Not great vibes.
Horoscope: Boy it doesn’t feel great for the Jets right now, does it?
Do: Connor Hellebuyck Don’t: Not help Connor Hellebuyck
• Ottawa Senators: Heaviest concentration in Pisces
Ottawa didn’t even have that bad of a season.
Horoscope: Hear me out, competitive Ottawa Senators next season?
Do: Take the good vibes Don’t: Stand pat with cap space
• Montreal Canadiens: Heaviest concentration in Leo and Taurus
Taurus Josh Anderson has slowed down considerably.
Horoscope: Montreal can finish in third and end up with an Oilers matchup instead of the Leafs.
Do: Cole Caufield goals Don’t: Lose bad games
• Toronto Maple Leafs: Heaviest concentration in Gemini
Virgo Auston Matthews keeps on scoring.
Horoscope: What does a successful playoff run look like for the Leafs? Feels like there’s a lot of pressure there.
Do: Auston Matthews lol Don’t: Leafs