NHL Horoscopes Week 13: Mercury enters Aries, let chaos reign

Aries season has treated Aries players and teams mostly well (don’t look, Chicago). Now Mercury enters the chaotic Fire sign, so there’s sure to be an uptick in, uh, let’s call it energy.

As always more important than horoscopes or hockey is staying safe.

Stat Leaders

Connor McDavid: 64 points, 42 assists (Capricorn)
Auston Matthews: 27 goals (Virgo)
Brendan Lemiuex: 59 PIM (Pisces)
Andrei Vasilevskiy: .932 Save % (Cancer)

EAST DIVISION

• Boston Bruins: Highest concentration in Taurus

Leo goalie Dan Vladar has been stellar when called upon.

Horoscope: They could just like, help themselves by adding any scoring.

Do: Consistent scoring Don’t: Lose all Covid caution

• Buffalo Sabres: Highest concentration in Sagittarius

There’s still nothing to say here.

Horoscope: They won a couple of games but don’t start planning the parade.

Do: Uhh Don’t: This

• Washington Capitals: Highest concentration in Taurus

Aside from a bad outing with the Islanders, the Caps have been pretty consistent.

Horoscope: Taurus’ haven’t had a quiet time all season but there’s a period of quiet now. The Caps don’t seem to mind.

Do: Depth scoring Don’t: Neglect goaltending

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• New York Rangers: Highest concentration in Aquarius

Aquarius Adam Fox is entering the Norris conversation.

Horoscope: We had an Aquarius moon this week, perhaps that gives the Rangers a spark.

Do: Play like David Quinn isn’t watching Don’t: Get away from best players

• New York Islanders: Highest concentration in Aquarius

Gemini Mat Barzal has had a strong season.

Horoscope: Much like the Rangers, maybe the Aquarius moon will set the Islanders on a good path.

Do: Offense, please Don’t: Lonely at the top

• New Jersey Devils: Highest concentration in Scorpio

Aquarius Kyle Palmieri might be in his last days with the Devils.

Horoscope: We’re approaching a Scorpio full moon a couple of weeks after the deadline, but it’ll be too little too late for the Devils.

Do: Trade Palmieri Don’t: Lose sight

• Philadelphia Flyers: Highest concentration in Taurus

Gemini goalie Carter Hart has kind of been the scapegoat of a bad situation.

Horoscope: Hmmm. They got a couple of wins but the vibe is bad.

Do: Stop being mean to your goalies Don’t: Harass the goalie

• Pittsburgh Penguins: Highest concentration in Leo/Taurus

Taurus goalie Tristan Jarry being out would not be good.

Horoscope: Remember when people were talking about the Penguins trading Sidney Crosby, haha.

Do: Top offense Don’t: Make a reactionary move

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CENTRAL DIVISION

• Detroit Red Wings: Highest concentration in Aquarius

Things still are Red Wingin’.

Horoscope: The Red Wings could be a fun asset for any trade deadline team looking to shed bad contracts, how quirky and Aquarius for them.

Do: Power play x2 Don’t: Shortsighted moves

• Tampa Bay Lightning: Highest concentration in Gemini

Remember, Gemini Nikita Kucherov is on the horizon.

Horoscope: Gemini Mars has not been ideal but at least there is some help on the horizon.

Do: Win some key games Don’t: Look back

• Florida Panthers:  Highest concentration in Virgo

Aquarius Aaron Ekblad missing the rest of the season means it’s decision time.

Horoscope: Quiet week for Virgos. The Panthers should decide if they want to go all out, especially in this division.

Do: Go for it, why not Don’t: Discourage the run

Carolina Hurricanes: Highest concentration in Cancer

Aquarius goalie Petr Mrazek‘s return is a welcomed one.

Horoscope: Mars enters Cancer in a couple of weeks which could just create a firestorm of emotions. The Hurricanes are keeping pace on their own pretty well.

Do: Mrazek Don’t: Underestimate

• Nashville Predators: Highest concentration in Gemini

Gemini goalie Juuse Sarros is on a run.

Horoscope: What to make of the Predators? They are Geminis so it makes sense they can’t decide if they are competing or not.

Do: Goalies Don’t: Take a bad deadline offer

• Dallas Stars: Highest concentration in Gemini and Cancer

They are lucky to have so many games in hand.

Horoscope: Still confused about the Stars tbh.

Do: Jake Oettinger Don’t: Over-extend

• Chicago Blackhawks: Heaviest concentration in Aries

Aries season has not been too helpful to the Hawks.

Horoscope: For Aries’, the sun season can go one of two ways, and for the Blackhawks it has gone a certain way.

Do: Goalies Don’t: This

• Columbus Blue Jackets: Heaviest concentration in Cancer

Aries Patrik Laine is not having a fun Aries season.

Horoscope: It might be time to blow it all up, selling season is here and the Cancer Blue Jackets are not having a fun time.

Do: Deadline moves Don’t: Bench Laine idk

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WEST DIVISION

• Minnesota Wild: Highest concentration in Virgo and Cancer

Taurus Kirill Kaprizov is a legitimate star.

Horoscope: There’s not much in the stars for the Wild this week but they’ve bucked every trend and projection anyhow.

Do: Young guys Don’t: Get too comfortable

• St. Louis Blues: Highest concentration in Cancer and Aries

They’ve lost 12 of their last 14 games.

Horoscope: No one is having a rougher time right now than the Blues, and it being so soon to the deadline, they might just have to move on from this season.

Do: Figure out what’s up here Don’t: Free fall

• Arizona Coyotes: Highest concentration in Leo

Capricorn Conor Garland would be a great get at the trade deadline.

Horoscope: There’s some offense brewing in Arizona and it’s by way of Tucson. These Leo Coyotes have all sorts of swagger with their young guys.

Do: Offense Don’t: Inconsistent young players

• San Jose Sharks: Highest concentration in Aries

Is…. is Gemini Erik Karlsson leading the Sharks on a playoff push?

Horoscope: Aries is a fickle sign as evidenced by the Sharks suddenly doing halfway decent leading into the deadline.

Do: Ignore me Don’t: Let Karlsson fall off

• Vegas Golden Knights: Highest concentration in Leo

Sagittarius goalie Marc-Andre Fleury has slowed down a tad.

Horoscope: Ho hum the Golden Knights are a powerhouse.

Do: Best offense Don’t: Let goalies slow the roll

• Anaheim Ducks: Heaviest concentration in Aquarius

Pisces Trevor Zegras will take some time in the AHL to become a center.

Horoscope: The most Aquarius thing the Ducks have ever done is sending a press release clearly stating their intentions with a player out of nowhere and will probably never do it again.

Do: Play Danton Heinen x2 Don’t: Make bad deadline deals

• Los Angeles Kings: Highest concentration in Libra

Libra goalie Cal Peterson has been fun.

Horoscope: This week’s last quarter moon was supposed to have an impact on Libras, so we’ll see. Not a great showing with the Coyotes, though.

Do: Make smart moves Don’t: Slump worse

• Colorado Avalanche: Highest concentration in Scorpio 

The Avs have grabbed points in 15 consecutive contests.

Horoscope: No one is slowing down the Avalanche, it’s starting to snowball, if you will.

Do: An Avalanche of goals Don’t: Burn out

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NORTH DIVISION

• Vancouver Canucks: Heaviest concentration in Cancer and Libra

Just focus on getting healthy.

Horoscope: None of this matters, all thoughts are with the recovering Canucks making a full recovery.

• Calgary Flames: Heaviest concentration in Pisces

Leo coach Darryl Sutter hasn’t helped even a little bit.

Horoscope: What a disaster in Calgary. This isn’t how they envisioned this season at all.

Do: Move on from key pieces Don’t: Make it worse

Edmonton Oilers: Heaviest concentration in Cancer and Libra

Was going to type “Connor McDavid something something” but apparently did that last week. That’s about all there is to say though.

Horoscope: Rough loss on Monday night, but the Oilers have a decent thing going even with their weird zodiac combination.

Do: Win the games you’re supposed to win Don’t: Rely only on stars

• Winnipeg Jets: Heaviest concentration in Aries

It’s a day that ends in y so Gemini goalie Connor Hellebuyck is still playing great.

Horoscope: If the Jets added like one capable defenseman they might be kind of dangerous.

Do: Pierre-Luc Dubois szn Don’t: Defensive woes

• Ottawa Senators: Heaviest concentration in Pisces

Still the Sens, nothing new.

Horoscope: Pisces Mercury kept the Senators honest but we all know what’s happening here, they’re not expected to like, actually win.

Do: Any offense Don’t: Reactionary deadline moves

• Montreal Canadiens: Heaviest concentration in Leo and Taurus

Sagittarius Jeff Petry has been one of the best defensemen in the league this season.

Horoscope: The Habs are in a good position to make it to the postseason and make some noise when they get there.

Do: Cole Caufield, just do it Don’t: Look back

• Toronto Maple Leafs: Heaviest concentration in Gemini

It’s pretty wild that Virgo Auston Matthews could score 40 goals.

Horoscope: The Leafs had such a quick start it’s going to take a lot to bring their clout down even when they have flaws.

Do: Keep that lead Don’t: Gemini nonsense

Marisa Ingemi is a writer for Pro Hockey Talk on NBC Sports. Drop her a line at phtblog@nbcsports.com or follow her on Twitter @Marisa_Ingemi.

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