There’s a lot of chaos between it just being Aries season in general, a Gemini Mars cycle that has knocked around two of the best teams in the league, and a potentially dramatic Pisces Mercury.
It’s another week of the NHL and horoscopes where anything can happen, including Leo teams going on a hot streak out of nowhere.
Connor McDavid: 63 points, 42 assists (Capricorn)
Auston Matthews: 31 goals (Virgo)
Brendan Lemiuex: 59 PIM (Pisces)
Andrei Vasilevskiy: .930 Save % (Cancer)
• Boston Bruins: Highest concentration in Taurus
Several Bruins players remain on the Covid protocol list.
Horoscope: They need a cosmic intervention to get some scoring.
Do: Score a five on five goal Don’t: Spread Covid
• Buffalo Sabres: Highest concentration in Sagittarius
Horoscope: I remain speechless.
Do: Win a game maybe Don’t: :/
• Washington Capitals: Highest concentration in Taurus
Virgo Alex Ovechkin is still producing.
Horoscope: We’re a couple of weeks away from a Taurus Venus, but the Caps have had things together for a while anyways.
Do: Best players Don’t: Suspensions
[Your 2020-21 NHL on NBC TV schedule]
• New York Rangers: Highest concentration in Aquarius
Aries Mika Zibanejad is on a roll.
Horoscope: The further away we get from Aquarius season, the better the Rangers seem to play?
Do: Get it together David Quinn Don’t: Get away from best players
• New York Islanders: Highest concentration in Aquarius
The Isles might need to add a scorer to keep their roll going.
Horoscope: Suddenly they’ve lost two in a row. Aries season has not been kind to the Islanders scoring.
Do: Offense Don’t: Complacency
• New Jersey Devils: Highest concentration in Scorpio
Sagittarius Mackenzie Blackwood is playing at another level.
Horoscope: This has felt like a big week for Scorpios already so it’s no surprise a Scorpio moon on Tuesday is fueling that.
Do: Mackenzie Blackwood x3 Don’t: Lose to the Bruins, apparently
• Philadelphia Flyers: Highest concentration in Taurus
It’s getting ugly for Gemini goalie Carter Hart.
Horoscope: Something isn’t working, and panicking isn’t the answer but it’s really not going well.
Do: Beat the Sabres at least Don’t: Negative scoring margin
• Pittsburgh Penguins: Highest concentration in Leo/Taurus
Taurus goalie Tristan Jarry being out would not be good.
Horoscope: They’re on a hot streak, the stars be damned.
Do: Top offense Don’t: Panic in net
• Detroit Red Wings: Highest concentration in Aquarius
Scorpio Filip Hronek has been their best player.
Horoscope: The Blue Jackets wins were nice!
Do: Power play Don’t: Let a defenseman be your best scorer
• Tampa Bay Lightning: Highest concentration in Gemini
Is this another Norris run for Scorpio Victor Hedman?
Horoscope: Suddenly they have just a one point lead on the Hurricanes. Gemini Mars can be a fickle time.
Do: Win some key games Don’t: Fall behind out of nowhere
[NHL Power Rankings: Avalanche starting to hit their stride]
• Florida Panthers: Highest concentration in Virgo
Aquarius Aaron Ekblad missing the rest of the season is rough luck.
Horoscope: Last week’s Virgo moon kept the Panthers playing the way they have all season.
Do: Selke watch Don’t: Drop off
• Carolina Hurricanes: Highest concentration in Cancer
Gemini Dougie Hamilton has points in 14 straight games.
Horoscope: The Libra full moon was supposed to have a big effect on Cancers, and the Hurricanes are playing like one of the best teams in hockey.
Do: Goalies Don’t: Lose focus
• Nashville Predators: Highest concentration in Gemini
Suddenly the Predators are in it?
Horoscope: Scorpio Pekka Rinne remembered how to goalie and the Gemini Preds are on a role.
Do: Goalies Don’t: Listen to me apparently.
• Dallas Stars: Highest concentration in Gemini and Cancer
They are lucky to have so many games in hand.
Horoscope: The games in hand are going to be huge for this utterly confusing team.
Do: Young players Don’t: Miss this opportunity
• Chicago Blackhawks: Heaviest concentration in Aries
They have a favorable schedule during Aries season.
Horoscope: Aries season is not helping the Blackhawks at all it turns out.
Do: Goalies Don’t: Spiral
• Columbus Blue Jackets: Heaviest concentration in Cancer
Scorpio David Savard could be the first guy gone at the deadline.
Horoscope: Like any good Cancer, the Blue Jackets are emotional and don’t know what to do.
Do: Trades Don’t: Lose to the Red Wings imo
• Minnesota Wild: Highest concentration in Virgo and Cancer
Taurus Kirill Kaprizov is a legitimate star.
Horoscope: The Minnesota Wild vibe train is not stopping any time soon.
Do: Home success Don’t: Falter with late schedule
• St. Louis Blues: Highest concentration in Cancer and Aries
Things aren’t going to get easier for the Blues with their schedule.
Horoscope: The Blues have slumped here at the end as they are finally getting a bit healthier. Not very Aries of them.
Do: Health Don’t: Fall out of playoff positioning.
• Arizona Coyotes: Highest concentration in Leo
Capricorn Conor Garland would be a great get at the trade deadline.
Horoscope: The Coyotes have won some nice games here, keep creating that momentum.
Do: Goals Don’t: Inconsistency
• San Jose Sharks: Highest concentration in Aries
Capricorn Brent Burns is not having a good year.
Horoscope: Not great, Bob!
Do: Next season Don’t: Sharks
• Vegas Golden Knights: Highest concentration in Leo
Taurus Mark Stone is not slowing down.
Horoscope: There really isn’t too much to say about a team that’s dominated on the ice despite a really quiet time period for Leos.
Do: Good goalies Don’t: Lose on the road
• Anaheim Ducks: Heaviest concentration in Aquarius
They should probably see what they can get for Taurus Rickard Rickell.
Horoscope: They do a lot of weird personnel things but that’s being an Aquarius for you.
Do: Play Danton Heinen Don’t: Be reluctant to make moves
• Los Angeles Kings: Highest concentration in Libra
Scorpio Dustin Brown might be on the move if this keeps out.
Horoscope: The Libra full moon didn’t help a Kings team that’s now lost three in a row.
Do: Good trade deadline Don’t: Slump
• Colorado Avalanche: Highest concentration in Scorpio
Scorpio Cale Makar, still ridiculous.
Horoscope: No regulation losses in 10 games during a peak time of year for Scorpios.
Do: Keep rolling Don’t: Forget to tell everyone Cale Makar should win the Norris
• Vancouver Canucks: Heaviest concentration in Cancer and Libra
Doesn’t look great folks.
Horoscope: They’ve actually played well lately but it still feels impossible for them to climb back
Do: Keep fighting for it Don’t: Have a -20 scoring margin
• Calgary Flames: Heaviest concentration in Pisces
This season is slipping away real fast.
Horoscope: Pisces Mercury is a lot about the vibe, how you feel mentally about what’s ahead, and the Calgary vibe isn’t great.
Do: Trade deadline? Don’t: Keep falling
• Edmonton Oilers: Heaviest concentration in Cancer and Libra
Capricorn Connor McDavid something something.
Horoscope: Pretty good run for the Oilers in the middle of a Libra moon cycle.
Do: Keep rolling Don’t: Rely only on stars
• Winnipeg Jets: Heaviest concentration in Aries
Here come the Jets?
Horoscope: Aries season has been real good to the Jets. Have to enjoy what they’ve been doing the second half of the season.
Do: Keep offensive pace Don’t: Drop off
• Ottawa Senators: Heaviest concentration in Pisces
Capricorn Tim Stützle continues to have an impressive season.
Horoscope: Pisces Mercury could be nice to the Senators, in the sense they can keep causing trouble.
Do: More than 94 goals Don’t: Awful scoring margin
• Montreal Canadiens: Heaviest concentration in Leo and Taurus
Scorpio Eric Staal really adds to a Habs team that succeeds with its fixed signs.
Horoscope: The Habs are making moves and creating their own vibe, Leo style.
Do: Cole Caufield soon Don’t: Drop off
• Toronto Maple Leafs: Heaviest concentration in Gemini
Taurus Mitch Marner is on a tear.
Horoscope: A bit of a rough run during a Gemini Mars cycle that’s hit every Gemini pretty hard, but they seem to be a bit back on track.
Do: One game at a time Don’t: Leafs being Leafs
Marisa Ingemi is a writer for Pro Hockey Talk on NBC Sports. Drop her a line at firstname.lastname@example.org or follow her on Twitter @Marisa_Ingemi.