So there will be NHL versions of those weird Funko pop dolls

via Funko
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From the Department of Things We Only Vaguely Understand: Funko will release a series of NHL player dolls under their Funko Pop line, appropriately titled “NHL Pops!”

Rolling Stone does a solid job describing the “stylistic guidelines” for such toys, besting PHT’s offering of “creepy.”

Whether it’s Huckleberry Hound, the Incredible Hulk or The Big Bang Theory’s Howard Wolowitz, the average Pop figure adheres to the same template: It stands 3.75 inches tall in a neutral pose. It has a square-shaped head with rounded edges — one large enough to account for half the piece’s height. It should have pupil-free, button-like black eyes, a small nose and no mouth. Most importantly, it should be adorable.

A wide range of NHL players are available, from obvious choices (Sidney Crosby, Alex Ovechkin, Patrick Kane) to a few surprises (Morgan Rielly, quite a few guys with unexpected facial hair).

Let’s examine a few favorites.

First, perhaps the least handsome we may ever see Henrik Lundqvist:

hankpop

Next, Jonathan Toews with a glaring lack of sideburns:

toewspop

Finally, Ovechkin and Crosby, forever linked:

funkocrosbyovi

The adorable and/or creepy figures are coming out in November. Gotta catch them all.