Blackhawks say Bickell missed Sunday with … ‘lower-body wardrobe malfunction’

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The 2013-14 regular season is right around the corner, so the hockey world should ready itself for several months of comically vague injury reports. At least the Chicago Blackhawks had a sense of humor – maybe toilet humor – about why Bryan Bickell missed Sunday’s preseason game (a 4-3 win against the Detroit Red Wings), though.

Joel Quenneville explained to reporters that Michael Kostka played today because Bickell had a “lower-body wardrobe malfunction.”

While it’s anyone’s guess how many times this issue has squeezed out in NHL history, the injury report has to be a first.

CSNChicago.com’s Tracey Myers remarked that she doesn’t even want to know the details, but there are just so many important questions. Was it the result of some locker room prank? Did Quenneville make this all up to entertain our inner children on a preseason Sunday? (Hockey has some serious competition in the Emmy’s and Breaking Bad, after all.)

Let’s just hope someone gets to the bottom of this.

(Sorry.)