Want an appropriate time to do something ridiculous? Make sure it’s in the name of charity. Huge Czech defensemen wearing pink bunny suits to hospitals and countless people making boob jokes to benefit breast cancer research/awareness are just two examples of that practice. Yet if you want a go-to example of what hockey players are doing right now, simply look at the area between their lips and noses.
Yup, it’s “Movember,” one of the strangest charitable movements in a jam-packed arena of weird benefits. With that in mind, PHT wants to know: who is the modern mustache champion* in the NHL?
George Parros via The Associated Press
Notes: Parros just shaved it for Movember, but by my estimation, it’s already grown back by this writing. In fact, it’s likely stronger, thicker and maybe even a bit angry now. He’s a Princeton grad so don’t discount the possibility of a sentient ‘stache.
Notes: Tell me what your eye is drawn to in this photo. If you said “the puck” instead of Brown’s majestic handlebar, then you’re either a liar or a potential enemy.
Notes: The first contestant from the “coaches” division is a legit contender. Anyone who attributed the Ottawa Senators’ surge to Jason Spezza is wrong; it’s clear that the team is spurred on by MacLean’s mustache. His ‘stache has forgotten more about hockey than we’ll ever know.
Daniel Carcillo via Getty Images
Notes: It’s doubtful that Carcillo’s “Luigi ‘stache” has much of a chance in such a stacked field. This is really just a thinly veiled attempt to add variety to the ranks of “Carcillo’s missing teeth” photos.
Notes: Check out a photo of that questionable fashion choice here.
Notes: Sure, he came into Chicago with plenty of solid coaching experience, but let’s face it. The Blackhawks snapped into shape because they feared the “Q-Stache.” Can you blame them?
Notes: Hearing his voice in NHL 12 scratches a nostalgic itch, but EA Sports really needs to digitize that glorious nose critter. (Click here to see it in its glory.)
As impressive as this list is, it’s easy to imagine an oversight or two. For that reason, there’s an “other” category for write-in candidates. Just keep in mind this poll is all about players or personalities still working prominently today.
* – Here’s a few reasons why we opted against going all-time:
1. Lanny McDonald would have dominated the poll to a ridiculous degree.
2. The research required to analyze the staggering amount of ‘staches from the ’80s would have dragged this thing beyond November.
3. There are already plenty of great sources for historic nose critters; Greatest Hockey Legends counted down the top 10 of all-time, for instance.