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Preferred nomenclature: The ‘best’ first names in hockey

Mike Modano, Mike Ilitch

Mike Modano, left, shakes hands with Detroit Red Wings owner Mike Ilitch after being introduced as a Red Wing during an NHL hockey news conference in Detroit, Friday, Aug. 6, 2010. Modano inked a one-year deal worth $1.25 million and the possibility of $500,000 more through performance-based bonuses. (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio)

AP

Two powerful Mikes (Modano and Ilitch)

I’m one of those people who believe that a name can often shape someone’s life/attitude/personality. Naturally, it doesn’t dictate everything, but chances are your kid might have the deck stacked against them if they have to answer to “Apple” or “Chastity” on the first day of school.

(For some reason, I’ve almost never gotten along with anyone named Josh but nine times out of 10 hit it off with women named Lindsay or Lindsey. Let’s move on.)

NHL.com’s John Kreiser keeps pumping out some off-the-wall but awesome summer reading the last few weeks. He didn’t disappoint on Friday, either, as he released a list of the “best” first names in hockey.

Michael and Robert (and their various derivatives) are by far the most plentiful on the NHL’s all-time player list. There have been more than 200 players named Mike/Michael/Michel (Puck Prospectus put the number at 206) in the NHL, the most of any first name. Robert/Bob/Bobby is next at 194, with Dave/David/Davey a distant third at 134.

Orr Statue Hockey

FILE - This May 10, 1970, file photo shows Boston Bruins’ Bobby Orr flying through the air after scoring the winning goal past St. Louis Blues’ goalie Glenn Hall, that clinched the Stanley Cup Championship, in Boston. The Bruins are unveiling a statue of Bobby Orr in his defining moment, Monday, May 10, 2010. The ceremony comes on the 40th anniversary of the goal. (AP Photo/A.E. Maloof, File)

AP

If you had to assemble the greatest team with any one first name, which would it be? The Als are great (Ovechkin, Mogilny, coach Al Arbour), the Roberts are stout (Bobby Orr and Clarke, Roberto Luongo) and John is a solid hockey name too (Jean Beliveau, Jonathan Toews). Yet while it might not be the boldest move, I’d put my money on the Mikes.

The Mikes -- Imagine the dilemma for our coach, Mike Babcock (Mike Keenan has to settle for being an assistant) when it comes to picking a first-line right wing: Does he go with 700-goal scorer Mike Gartner or 573-goal (in just 10 seasons) gunner Mike Bossy. Not a bad dilemma to have. Mike Modano would make a pretty nice No. 1 center, with Mike Bullard on the second line. Michel Goulet looks like a pretty good first-line left wing. My penalty-killing unit could include guys like Michael Peca and Mike Sillinger (and I’d win a lot of faceoffs, too). Mike Ricci adds offense, defense and an element of feistiness.

My defense should get plenty of offense with Mike Green running the show, and with players like Mike Ramsey on the blue line, my one-two goaltending duo of Mike Vernon and Mike Richter should get some assistance. Mike Liut can fill in if one of them gets hurt.

And should my TV crew need some help, I’ll move Mike Milbury from the ice to the broadcast booth to work with Mike Emrick.

Perhaps the best question is: which are the coolest/most rare names? I doubt we’ll see many more Emerson Etems, Vesa Toskalas or P.K. (Pernell Karl) Subbans any time soon, that’s for sure ...