John Tortorella has the pregame press conference down to a science

You can’t say John Tortorella doesn’t have being a minimalist down to a science.

During today’s pregame press conference, Tortorella was asked three different ways to provide status updates on Brian Boyle and Brandon Dubinsky. Tortorella replied to each query with his usual bright and cheery demeanor saying, “No updates” each time, as the Daily News’ Pat Leonard reports.

If Torts keeps this up, he’ll put the Cliffs Notes people out of business with his succinct updates.

Boyle practiced with the Rangers yesterday, the first time for him since suffering a concussion against Ottawa in Game 5 thanks to a hit from Sens tough guy Chris Neil. Dubinsky played through Game 7 for New York but came out of it with a leg injury.

More: Watch John Tortorella very, very, briefly address the media

More: Tortorella holds very, very, brief press conference

Watch John Tortorella very, very briefly address the media

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New York Rangers coach John Tortorella spoke to reporters this morning in Ottawa, and here’s how it went:

To summarize, Torts hopes Carl Hagelin’s return to the lineup will help and there’s no update on Brian Boyle.

Have a nice day.

Peter DeBoer calls John Tortorella a “hypocrite” over line brawl mayhem

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Last night’s Devils-Rangers game that kicked off with a line brawl glued eyes to the TVs and fired up the outrage machine across the hockey landscape. The guy most angry last night, however, was Devils coach Peter DeBoer.

Rangers coach John Tortorella was seen barking at DeBoer before the drop of the puck over the line he put out to start the game and DeBoer didn’t care very much for that at all. Tom Gulitti of Fire & Ice gets the rant from DeBoer over fight night at the Garden.

“I guess in John’s world you can come into our building and start your tough guys, but we can’t do the same in here,” DeBoer said. “He’s either got short-term memory loss or he’s a hypocrite. So it’s one of the other.”

What he’s referring to is the Devils-Rangers game in New Jersey on December 20 that saw an eerily similar starting five that the Rangers put out to start last night’s game to counter the Devils’ big boy unit.

Last night the Devils put out a line of Eric Boulton, Ryan Carter, and Cam Janssen to start the game, something that Tortorella didn’t much care for. He countered by sending out Mike Rupp, Brandon Prust, and Brandon Dubinsky. On the opening faceoff, Dubinsky stepped out and let tough guy defenseman Stu Bickel take his place. Giddy up!

For what it’s worth, Tortorella wouldn’t bite on commenting on last night’s fisticuffs or on what DeBoer had to say.

If you missed the three-way fight last night, check it out here.

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Brandon Dubinsky is currently residing in John Tortorella’s doghouse

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Here’s what Rangers head coach John Tortorella had to say about maligned forward Brandon Dubinsky prior to tonight’s game against Tampa Bay:

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The penalty in question was a two-minute unsportsmanlike call Dubinsky received late in the first period of Thursday’s 3-2 win over Carolina. After some pushing and shoving around the Rangers net, Dubinsky grabbed a ‘Canes stick and hurled it against the glass, which led to Carolina scoring on the ensuing PP…and Tortorella benching Dubinsky for the remainder of the contest.

“I thought it was quite honestly a ridiculous penalty,” Tortorella told the New York Daily News. “At a time of the season when you’ve got 20 games left, that we need to be working on other things as far as details than that nonsense.”

Tortorella then confirmed that, if the Rangers lineup wasn’t depleted by injury (captain Ryan Callahan is out with a bruised foot), Dubinsky would’ve been a healthy scratch.

All told, it’s been a rough year for the 25-year-old. After posting a career-high in goals last season (24) and inking a four-year contract, $16.8 million deal in the summer, much was expected of Dubinsky heading into 2011-12. But he got off to an awful start — one goal over his first 31 games — and had his name thrown around incessantly in the Rick Nash trade rumors.

John Tortorella is going to the All-Star Game

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Just when John Tortorella thought he was out of marquee NHL events, they pull him back in.

The Rangers bench boss clinched one of the 2012 All-Star Game coaching gigs by virtue of New York’s overtime win against Florida last night. That guaranteed New York a higher winning percentage than Philadelphia by the Jan. 9 deadline — while the Rangers could still be caught by the Bruins, head coach Claude Julien was already on his way to the ASG by winning the Stanley Cup last season.

So, Torts is in for one of the league’s premier festivities.

This should prove sufficiently awkward given what transpired at the Winter Classic. There, Torts used another of the NHL’s largest stages to call the refereeing “disgusting” and insinuate the officials and NBC were in cahoots to send the game to overtime, which totally wasn’t true. (*tugs collar awkwardly*)

That cost Torts $30,000 in fines and a public apology, so my guess is we won’t hear him railing against fan voting or the fantasy draft format in Ottawa. ‘Cause hey, nobody wants to taint the All-Star Game with their mouth.

[PHT Notes: The race for the spot next to Torts on an all-star bench is still up for grabs. Five Western Conference coaches — Alain Vigneault, Joel Quenneville, Todd McLellan, Ken Hitchcock and Mike Babcock — are still in the mix.]