Blake Bortles

PHT’s six super awesome most favorite things about the NHL lockout

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Happy New Year!

Thanks for visiting PHT on a day normally reserved for finding your car keys and dignity. Because you’ve all been such good sports, we’re going to do you a solid and kick the year off right…by being positive.

Yes, positive.

Look, we know the NHL lockout’s been a drag. (Also acceptable: “sad” or “wholly unnecessary.”) But that doesn’t mean we can’t find the bright side — y’know, the parts of the work stoppage that make you realize hey, some good things have come out of the last 108 days.

Granted, not many good things. But some.

Okay, six. There have been exactly six good things.

And here they are.

Way more time to follow other sports

Like the NBA. We can’t remember the last time we got to watch professional hoops on a regular basis. Did you know the SuperSonics moved to Oklahoma City? Seattle basketball fans will really miss Tom Chambers.

We’ve also been enjoying college football’s many, many bowl games. Central Florida’s victory over Ball State in the Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl was very impressive. We thought that game would be closer, but we guess Knights quarterback Blake Bortles had other plans!

Google Translate and its wacky Google translations

One trick to being really good hockey journalist guys: Go straight to the source (or so we’re told.)

So, rather than wait for a proper translation of a European team announcing its big NHL signing, the trick is to copy text off the team website and plug it into Google Translate.

After all, any old website can tell you Ales Hemsky signed in the Czech Extraliga. But only Google Translate will tell you in such an enjoyable way, like “Hemsky agree yes to Pardubice consummate upon contract. On Tuesday join. Successful much oil man has been, though often injury.”

That guy Guy Serota

When federal mediators entered labor negotiations, a crack staff was assigned to the case. That included one Guy Serota, who was quickly unassigned due to a rather sketchy personal Twitter account.

Featuring bad jokes, foul language, an infatuation with Sarah Silverman and links to videos of himself (essentially ruining his “I WAS HACKED!” defense), Serota’s account didn’t exactly undermine the mediation process — let’s face it, nobody figured it would work in the first place — but it did lead to a bunch of hockey writers writing about a man and his “Ass Mode” shirt.

“The Italian second division? That exists?”

How else besides the lockout would we have learned about all the wild and crazy places guys can play hockey professionally? For example, did you know Denmark’s top professional league, the AL-Bank Ligaen, is sponsored by Dong Energy? We do.

And did you know there’s a Finnish second division team called KooKoo, and San Jose forward Tommy Wingels signed there? We do, which is how we ended up with the “Wingels is KooKoo for Finland” post.

And did you know Dale Weise is an offensive machine in the Dutch league? That must not be a very good league.

#lockoutproblems

Despite being out of work, many NHLers are still living awesome lives that render them almost completely out of touch with the general public. And they took the time to show us!

Evander Kane couldn’t get his money phone to work.

Derek Roy’s Ferrari is super loud on start-up.

BizNasty can’t find a decent seamstress outside of Barney’s New York.

Scottie Upshall’s vacation was too sunny.

Brandon Prust’s too.

Kyle Turris didn’t like Finland, Joffrey Lupul didn’t like Russia and Jay Beagle regretted buying that second house.

Learning the difference between “decertification” and “disclaimer of interest”

It’s weird, we were always under the impression they were the same thing, but it turns out they aren’t. Yes, both are ways to dissolve a union; however, decertification takes longer and is a more formal process than a disclaimer of interest. Cool, right?

It’s also been interesting to read about antitrust law as it pertains to professional sports. We never thought we’d get that opportunity when we became sports writers. We thought we’d have to write about sports all the time.

So that’s our list of six good things about the lockout. (Full disclosure: we tried to think of 10 but fell four short.)

Many thanks to all our readers for continuing to visit PHT. Here’s to a fantastic 2013. Go Knights!

Watch the Blackhawks’ Patrick Sharp tribute video

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Over the years, the Chicago Blackhawks have been forced to let some important players leave to keep their core together, which ultimately meant parting ways with Patrick Sharp.

The talented winger now wears a Dallas Stars jersey, so Blackhawks fans must face the reality of watching Sharp ply his trade for a formidable Central Division opponent.

Even if that might feel awkward, Blackhawks fans gave Sharp (and Johnny Oduya) a warm reception in Chicago on Thursday.

CSNChicago.com provides video of that ovation, which you can see in the clip above.

The Stars currently lead the Blackhawks 4-2, thanks in large part to Patrick … Eaves.

Wild must overcome Alex Ovechkin’s 14th career hat trick

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Death, taxes and Alex Ovechkin winning the Maurice Richard Trophy.

OK, the third thing on that list isn’t technically inevitable. It just feels that way lately in the NHL.

It’s unclear if the Washington Capitals can hold on against the Minnesota Wild, but we know for certain that Ovechkin already has a hat trick, the 14th of his high-scoring career.

This propels Ovechkin to the goals lead as of this writing, as he already has 34. As impressive as Patrick Kane has been, No. 8 is heating up, and may just edge No. 88 if Ovechkin can remain healthy.

One has to feel a little sympathy for the struggling Wild. They played well but lost against the Dallas Stars earlier this week and now must deal with Ovechkin and the just-as-hot Capitals.

Bylsma believes league will look at Gudas’ hit on Catenacci

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Rugged Philadelphia Flyers defenseman Radko Gudas may get in trouble with the league once again.

At least, it will be that way if Buffalo Sabres head coach Dan Bylsma has his way regarding Gudas’ five-minute charging major hit on Daniel Catenacci.

“I think there’s no question it’s head hit,” Bylsma said, according to the Buffalo News’ John Vogl. ” … I know the league will look at that hit and deal with it.”

As far as the injury portion of possible suspension considerations go:

Marcus Foligno‘s analysis of Gudas was … well just check it out.

The Flyers ended up winning 5-1. Gudas was a busy man overall, racking up 17 penalty minutes.

Fight video: Patrice Bergeron vs. Blake Wheeler (seriously)

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Regular Selke winner Patrice Bergeron can do it all on the ice, it seems. Apparently that means he’ll even drop the gloves.

That was the unlikely scene during Thursday’s Boston Bruins – Winnipeg Jets skirmish, as Bergeron fought fellow finesse forward Blake Wheeler.

Perhaps unusual feisty behavior was just in the air, as Tyler Myers squared off with Matt Beleskey.

(Not as unlikely, but still.)