The beauty of Internet-based mockery is that no one can know (with absolute certainty) if the author is being hypocritical when he or she makes fun of someone or something.
That’s the inherent sub-humor that comes with the near-seasonal wave of Kyle Wellwood fat jokes. Whenever the semi-decent center finds himself in transaction news, a new (or re-heated) batch of fat jokes is unleashed on Twitter and blogs like a warm tray of brownies. These jokes flow from all corners, even if the odds are pretty high that Wellwood is in far better shape than the people dropping those one-liners.
As with many jokes, the Wellwood fat barbs are rooted in some bits of truth, even if the situation was exaggerated. The forward went into the 2008-09 season admittedly out of shape, explaining that three groin surgeries and a broken leg fouled up his off-season routine that summer.
Wellwood explains that those weight issues are behind him, as he clocks in at a respectable 180 lbs now.
“When I came to Vancouver, I came off waivers from Toronto and I had three groin surgeries and I had a broken leg over the summer,” he said. “When I got to camp, I wasn’t in good enough shape or like the rest of the guys.
“That was something I fixed and now I’ve been in great shape,” Wellwood continued. “I’ve been under 180 pounds so it’s kind of a running joke — you still get the fat jokes when you’re one of the lightest people in hockey. You just laugh and shake your head.”
It’s a good thing that Wellwood can laugh about the jokes because much like jokes regarding Chris Chelios’s age or Dan Cloutier being “beaten” by PhotoShop beach balls, fat jokes are likely to follow Wellwood for the rest of his career.
Unless, of course, he makes a blunder that shifts the comedy to something else.
It’s only a few days until July 1 and defenseman Brendan Smith still doesn’t have an extension in place with the New York Rangers.
Not to worry, says his agent. It doesn’t necessarily mean that Smith is going to sign elsewhere.
“No one should read anything into the fact that we don’t have a deal yet,” Anton Thun told the New York Post. “You’re never really close until it’s done, but both sides are trying to make it happen. We’ll have to see.”
Thun told the Post a month ago that Smith, an unrestricted free agent, was “open” to returning to the Rangers.
But there’s also been speculation that the Blueshirts will pursue Kevin Shattenkirk in free agency, which would probably mean less money available for Smith.
It remains to be seen if the Rangers will, indeed, make a big push for Shattenkirk. The addition of Anthony DeAngelo in the Derek Stepan trade may have lessened their urgency in that regard.
“He’s a puck-moving right-handed defenseman that can run the power play and shoot the puck,” GM Jeff Gorton said of DeAngelo, per Sporting News.
Which sounds a lot like Shattenkirk, no?
Smith, 28, was traded to the Rangers from Detroit on Feb. 28.
Looks as though forward Max McCormick has a future in Ottawa.
On Tuesday, the Sens signed McCormick to a two-year extension worth $650,000 annually — and, perhaps most importantly, it’s a one-way deal in the second year.
McCormick, 25, also has a $250,000 guaranteed AHL salary next season.
The deal comes after he set a career high and tied for the AHL Binghamton team lead in goals last year, with 21. McCormick also appeared in seven games for Ottawa — this after playing 20 in ’15-16 — and emerged as a high-energy guy with an edge to his game.
Despite not being overly big (5-foot-11, 188 pounds), McCormick fought seven times for Binghamton last season, and led the team in penalty minutes. The year prior, he scrapped 12 times between the Sens and Baby Sens.
A spot at the NHL level could soon materialize. The Sens have already announced they’re moving on from free agent forward Chris Neil, and the futures of fellow UFAs Viktor Stalberg, Chris Kelly and Tommy Wingels remain uncertain.
The ‘Canes retained some organizational depth on Tuesday, agreeing to terms with defenseman Jake Chelios — the son of Hockey Hall of Famer Chris Chelios — and forward Patrick Brown.
Brown’s contract is a one-year, $650,000 extension, one that will pay $160,000 at the AHL level, with a guarantee of $190,000.
Brown, 25, split last season between Charlotte and Carolina, appearing in a career-high 14 contest with the ‘Canes. The Boston College product scored 12 goals and 28 points in 66 games with the Checkers.
Chelios, 26, has yet to make his NHL debut but is coming off a strong season with Charlotte. He served as an alternate captain and had a strong offensive campaign, with 32 points in 76 contests. That led all Checkers d-men in scoring, and he was the only player on the team to appear in every single game this season.
Like Brown, Chelios’ deal will pay $650,000 at the NHL level. It’s $85,000 at the AHL level.
The Ottawa Senators did their best to make sure they didn’t lose Marc Methot in the expansion draft.
They attempted to get Dion Phaneuf to waive his no-move clause so they could keep Methot, but that didn’t work out.
On Monday, TSN hockey analyst Pierre LeBrun reported that the Golden Knights and Senators had been talking about a potential trade back to Ottawa.
In the end, Vegas GM George McPhee preferred to ship him to Dallas for 2017 seventh-rounder Dylan Ferguson and a second-round pick in 2020.
According to beat reporter Bruce Garrioch, Vegas’ asking price to allow the Sens to protect Methot before expansion was a 2018 first-round pick.
Methot has averaged at least 19:49 of ice time during his five seasons in Ottawa.
In the end, all this means is that the Senators will need to find someone else to play on the top pairing with Erik Karlsson next season.
During training camp, Ottawa put top prospect Thomas Chabot with Karlsson. They opted to send Chabot back to junior, but that could be an interesting combination if they think he’s ready to be a regular in the NHL.