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A tour of some of the most tasteless tattoos in hockey fandom

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I’ve written nearly 2,000 posts for Pro Hockey Talk, followed the sport obsessively for years and basically cannot go a day without at least discussing the NHL in passing. Yet as devoted as I am to hockey, I could never imagine committing to a tattoo for the sport.

(Granted, I’m ink-free, so perhaps I’m just commitment phobic.)

Other hockey fans aren’t so shy about wearing their passions on their sleeves. Literally. Marty Vance put together another great post full of horrible hockey-related tattoos today. Fair warning: his post and some of these tattoos might be a little on the “NSFW” (not safe for work) side. Here are some of the highlights … or should I say, some of the lowest of the low.

Note: all of these images came from Vance’s post.

Snide remarks: Nothing says commitment (or foolishness) like getting a tattoo on your head. There’s a sincere part of me that hopes this is either a Photoshop job or a temporary thing. It brings out my inner-grandparent: “How is he going to get a job?”

Snide remarks: As Vance noted, disparaging another team’s logo is a clear sign of an inferiority complex. Few teams have little brother syndrome quite like the Nashville Predators do with the Detroit Red Wings. Although after being in second place for years, now they have baby brother syndrome because the Chicago Blackhawks pushed them to third place (at best). Not sure if there’s enough room in the Predators’ mouth for a tomahawk, though.

Snide remarks: This tattoo corners the market on obscure hockey moments. It’s a reference to Max Talbot making a “shush” gesture to the Philadelphia Flyers in game six of their 2009 playoff series, after losing a fight that nonetheless seemed to rile the Pittsburgh Penguins up on their way to a comeback victory. Seems like a great idea for an avatar on Penguins blogs, but as a permanent part of your body? Dubious.

Snide remarks: Yup, that’s right. Hockey sticks form the crucifix for the oddest mix of religious and puck-based devotion I’ve ever seen. Is this in bad taste or even blasphemous? I don’t know, but I’ll just go ahead and be stunned.

So, those are some of the worst hockey-related tattoos in the universe. Make sure to read the whole post to see even more ridiculous designs (and check out the previous version) and giggle at Vance’s clever commentary. Again, it might be something to read once you get home from work, though.

Oh, and a word to the wise: there’s nothing wrong with showing your eternal devotion to your favorite team, but be at least slightly smart about it. Keep it simple (maybe your favorite player’s number, a simple puck/stick-based design or just the standard team logo) and easy to cover up for job interviews. Remember, it’s cool to be super-unique when it comes to choosing a jersey to wear, but when it comes to tattoos, you’re better off avoiding the road less traveled.

Stars end Capitals’ winning streak, pass Blackhawks for West lead

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For two periods, the Dallas Stars seemed to say, “Are you sure the Washington Capitals are the best team in the NHL?”

They chased Braden Holtby and built a 4-0 lead through those first 40 minutes, and that was enough … but barely. The Stars beat the Capitals 4-3 on Saturday, which accomplished the following:

  • Dallas ended Washington’s winning streak at five games. The Stars have now won three straight.
  • This win slides the Stars ahead of the Chicago Blackhawks for first place in the highly competitive Central Division. While both teams sit at 77 standings points, Dallas holds three games in hand.
  • By passing Chicago, the Stars now lead the Western Conference as a whole.

Impressive stuff. Some might even call it a statement game, although others may hold that nail-biting ending against them (possibly arguing that the Stars’ flaws may come back to haunt them in the playoffs).

Dallas’ biggest concern likely has little to do with doubters. Instead, they must monitor the statuses of forwards Tyler Seguin and Cody Eakin.

Long story short, the Stars are red-hot, yet bigger challenges likely lie ahead.

Blackhawks fall to Ducks in OT, lose Hossa to injury

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The Chicago Blackhawks are on edge on Saturday, and it’s not because of what’s currently a close game against the Anaheim Ducks.

(Not that they’re indifferent toward a match against their opponents from last year’s conference final match, mind you.)

Instead, the Blackhawks are quite concerned about the health of Marian Hossa, who needed help off of the ice following an awkward, scary-looking crash into the boards. (Hampus Lindholm delivered the hip check that sent Hossa sprawling, in case you’re wondering.)

You can see that moment in the video above, while My Regular Face’s GIF also captures that troubling moment:

It’s too early to tell if Hossa will bounce back or miss some time from this. Stay tuned for potential updates.

Update: Joel Quenneville seems optimistic about Hossa, broadly speaking:

Ryan Getzlaf scored the overtime game-winner as the Ducks won 3-2 (OT).

Understatement: Saturday was a rough night for Panthers

Nashville Predators center Colin Wilson (33) checks Florida Panthers center Jonathan Huberdeau (11) during the second period of an NHL hockey game, Saturday, Feb. 13, 2016, in Sunrise, Fla. (AP Photo/Alan Diaz)
AP
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If it weren’t for Mike Yeo and the Minnesota Wild, you could argue that the Florida Panthers suffered from the worst night so far.

You can see that Saturday was unpleasant merely from looking at the scoreboard: the Nashville Predators pummeled the Panthers by an unkind score of 5-0.

The pain goes beyond that … literally so.

For one thing, Quinton Howden suffered an upper-body injury and did not return. That’s no good, but if you want to feel sick to your stomach, footage of Brandon Pirri‘s likely lower-body injury (ankle maybe?) may do the trick.

(Seriously, you may be happier if you don’t look.)

The Panthers didn’t make an announcement about Pirri one way or another, so we’ll see if he somehow avoided anything significant.

Either way, it was a night this team would like to forget.

Fractured jaw from fight sidelines Chris Stewart for 4-8 weeks

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It’s unlikely that Chris Stewart will generate another 30-goal season in the NHL, but he still might be missed by the Anaheim Ducks.

The team announced that the ornery forward is expected to miss four-to-eight weeks with a fractured jaw. If that’s the recovery window, Stewart may go into the playoffs a little rusty (if he can get in any regular season games at all).

The Ducks didn’t elaborate, but the Columbus Dispatch’s Aaron Portzline believes that the injury happened during a fight with Dalton Prout of the Columbus Blue Jackets. You can see that brawl in the video above.

One bright side for Anaheim: if they believe that they need to replace what Stewart brings to the table (rugged play with a dash of offense), then at least this injury happened before the the Feb. 29 trade deadline.