The most 'laborious' jobs in hockey


vokounsquashed.jpgAh, Labor Day. Unlike most other national holidays, you don’t saddle us with guilt for being couch potatoes instead of war heroes. You don’t give us too much incentive to injure ourselves with illegal fireworks, force us to eat overcooked turkey with family members we don’t get along with or buy overpriced greeting cards.

Nope, Labor Day could be called Lazy Day in many circles and that’s why it’s a decidedly awesome (and American) holiday. For those of you who would like some puck talk mixed in to your hot dog consumption and pajama-clad day, we’ll try to track down the most interesting stories of this Monday. I couldn’t help but wonder, though: what are the most laborious jobs in hockey? I’ll split my choices into “player” and “non-player” categories.

Most “laborious” jobs in hockey: player edition

Leg pads for Jay McKee/Anton Volchenkov/Hal Gill (or shot blocking in general)

Hockey is a sport for ridiculously tough humans, especially if you’re a shut down defenseman. “Withstanding incredible pain and frequent bruising” is particularly high in the job description of shot blocking blueliners, though, who are insane enough to put their jobs on the line every time they sprawl out on the ice to stop a puck.

davebollandfights.jpgShut-down center

If you asked me which Chicago Blackhawks contributor received the least amount of deserved spotlight, I would pick Dave Bolland. For most of 2009-10 I thought he was arguably the most overpaid player (not named Cristobal Huet or Brian Campbell) on their roster until he frustrated the likes of the Sedin twins and Joe Thornton all summer long. While shutdown defensemen have tough jobs, defensive centers often cover an even larger part of the ice and also might be counted on for some offense.

Florida Panthers goalie

Combine shaky goal support (third worst in the NHL with only 2.46 goals scored per game) with the largest shots allowed in 09-10 (34.1 shots allowed per game) and being a goalie for the Panthers was probably the toughest netminding gig last season. That’s why hockey nerds such as myself appreciate Tomas Vokoun so much; he might not win but he stops a high volume of pucks, much like Roberto Luongo before him.

Time on Ice leaders

Chris Phillips lead the league in total shorthanded time on ice (315:23) while Jay Bouwmeester came in second (312:55) but averaged three and a half more total minutes per game. Duncan Keith played the most of any player in the NHL, narrowly beating his Stanley Cup finals opponent Chris Pronger (2,180:34 to 2,125:58). Martin St. Louis logged the most minutes of any forward, besting Anze Kopitar by a bit under two minutes.

Most “laborious” roles in hockey: Non-players

flyerspenaltybox.jpgPenalty box operator, Philadelphia Flyers games

If there’s a hockey job that could give you carpal tunnel it would be this or …

Ilya Kovalchuk contract writer

… or this.

Noise reducing earphones

Whether it’s in Gary Bettman’s ears when he hands out the Stanley Cup or Pronger’s ears any time he touches the puck in, say, 20 percent of the league’s arenas, you cannot have good enough ear phones to soak up those angry boos.

Thumbnail image for dealingwithcarcillo.jpgFlorida Panthers/New York Islanders ticket sales staff

Hey, look on the bright side; at one point, “Pittsburgh Penguins/Washington Capitals/Chicago Blackhawks ticket sales staff” would have been on the top of this list.

Wheel of Justice spinner

When spinning the league’s Wheel of Justice, your arm must get awfully tired.

Goal judges in the Toronto “War Room”

No matter what you decide, chances are, 50 percent of the audience will hate you for it. Which really matches another job description:

Any official/referee role, really

They don’t get the benefit of instant replays from multiple angles in high definition or slow motion. Fans might get the urge to shower them with beer, insults and jeer-based pressure to make calls. Some players are very good actors, at least when a stick gets caught in their skates. Maybe it’s not the toughest job in hockey, but would anyone argue that being a referee is one of the most “thankless” roles?


OK, so that’s my list of the most laborious jobs in hockey. What did I miss? Which one might be the most difficult of them all? Let us know in the comments.

Teuvo time: Teravainen to open with Toews, Hossa

2015 NHL Stanley Cup Final - Game Six
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Teuvo Teravainen has played both center and right wing over the course of his brief NHL career.

Now, he’s got a new position — left wing — and a pair of shiny new linemates to boot.

Teravainen will open the year playing alongside captain Jonathan Toews and right wing Marian Hossa, per the Sun-Times.

The move could be a boon for the young Finn. Several ex-Chicago wingers thrived playing alongside Toews and Hossa, most notably Brandon Saad and Patrick Sharp.

It’ll be interesting to see what kind of production Teravainen, who just turned 21 last month, can manufacture on Chicago’s top line. His numbers from last year weren’t spectacular (nine points in 34 games), but he did a solid job of racking up points en route to the Stanley Cup, with 10 in 18 games.

It’ll also be interesting to see how long he sticks with Toews and Hossa.

Head coach Joel Quenneville has been known as a frequent user of the line blender, often switching up his combos at at moment’s notice.

That said, Quenneville is hoping to find some stability with this new-look group.

“[Teuvo will] play there to start the season,” he said. “Hopefully, all year.”

‘Great story’ Janmark surprises, makes Dallas roster

Brian Elliott, Mattias Janmark-Nylen
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Pretty cool story out of Texas, where Mattias Janmark, the 22-year-old rookie that’s played a grand total of nine games in North America, has defied the odds to make the Stars’ opening-night roster.

“It’s a great story,” Dallas GM Jim Nill said, per the Morning News. “We really only planned to have him here for maybe two preseason games and then send him back. But he just kept being one of the best players out there, and he changed our minds.

“It’s a great example of what you can do if you just play hard.”

Nill acquired Janmark, 22, from Detroit at last year’s deadline as part of the Erik Cole trade. Nill was familiar with the Swedish forward from his time with the Wings — he was part of the front office team that drafted Janmark in ’13 — but didn’t think the deal would pay such immediate dividends.

As for Janmark, he didn’t even think he’d be in North America this year.

He has a contract with SHL club Frolunda, where he scored 36 points in 55 games last year. Given he’s barely played in the AHL — a few games with Grand Rapids, a few with Texas — Janmark figured he’d be back in Europe this season.

His strong play in the exhibition season changed all that. Janmark beat out two of Dallas’ touted prospects — former AHL rookie of the year Curtis McKenzie, and ’12 first-rounder Radek Faksa — for a roster spot, and showed good chemistry with third-line center Cody Eakin.

Janmark also performed well on a line with Jason Spezza and Ales Hemsky.