Ovechkin could learn from 'Rocky IV'

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When I heard about the Washington Capitals’ most recent headaches revolving around steroid investigations at the team’s training facility, I didn’t immediately assume that some of their players were up to no good. Instead, I couldn’t help but whimsically compare Alex Ovechkin to Dolph Lundgren’s Ivan Drago from “Rocky IV.”* This was the first image that popped into my head.

Now, there’s no reason to believe Ovechkin (or any Caps player) is guilty of foul play. Let me say that again: I am not accusing anyone of using steroids. That’s actually not what I’m interested in discussing.

Really, this is the main idea: Alex Ovechkin should embrace his inner Drago and accept this opportunity to morph into an ultra-menacing hockey villain. It’s the role many are trying to place him in anyway, so why fight to maintain a squeaky-clean image (like Tiger Woods) when he could instead shrug his shoulders and say “this is who I am, deal with it” (and be forgiven perpetually like lovable lugs like Charles Barkley and Robert Downey Jr.)? 

Just follow Drago’s lead. 

Since I’m such a helpful guy (and also because I have too much time on my hands), I’ll go one step further and cast NHL personalities as Rocky IV characters. Heck, I’ll even do an American and Canadian version. Thank me later.

Check out the cast after the jump


ovechkintaunt.jpgDrago – Ovechkin: Gigantic, physically intimidating Russian who attracts gorgeous blondes. Sometimes hurts opponents with his hard hits; critics think he’s dirty but fans just think he’s doing his job.

Blonde wife/spokesperson – One of Ovechkin’s many Russian beauties: Think of how much easier things would be for Ovechkin if he had someone completing those pesky interviews for him like Drago did.

Apollo Creed: Brian Campbell (USA) or Sergei Gonchar (CAN): Best friend/teammate of hero falls victim to devastating injury (or death). Bonus points if Ovechkin says this about Campbell: “If he breaks his clavicle, he breaks his clavicle.”

Rocky: Sidney Crosby (CAN) or Patrick Kane (USA): The hero must avenge his fallen comrade in a high stakes bout. It would be even better if one of them went through crazy winter tree lugging training and/or managed to grow a robust beard.

Shady Russian manager: Bruce Boudreau: “Drago shouldn’t be penalized for being too strong!”

Robot butler: OK, I’m pretty sure the robot butler was in Rocky “III” but I demand one anyway. You got that? Give me a robot butler or I walk!

Anyway, that’s how I see that imaginary scenario playing out. Is there a better movie comparison than “Rocky IV”? Tell me about it in the comments.

* – The film was a seminal part of my childhood, but I must acknowledge that ESPN’s Bill Simmons is the movie’s most prominent Internet evangelist.

(Hopefully you understand that this is a joke.)

Ducks likely to recall Khudobin after Gibson injury

Chicago Blackhawks' Richard Panik (14), of Slovakia, collides with Anaheim Ducks goalie John Gibson (36) during the second period of an NHL hockey game Saturday, Feb. 13, 2016, in Chicago. Anaheim won 3-2 in overtime. (AP Photo/Paul Beaty)
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“Costly victories” may have been one of the themes of Saturday night, as some teams paired impressive wins with worrisome injuries.

The good news is that, in each case, it appears that the early word is optimistic about those players (Tyler Seguin got stitched up in the Stars’ win, for example).

The Anaheim Ducks are reportedly readying to recall Anton Khudobin on Sunday after John Gibson suffered an upper-body injury during a collision with Chicago Blackhawks forward Richard Panik.

Again, so far the hope/expectation is that this might not be a major issue:

The pessimistic take would be to wonder “Uh oh, is the Ducks goalie carousel starting again?”

Frederik Andersen has seen some runs as Anaheim’s No. 1 guy, so maybe this issue is a reminder that the Ducks may be better off keeping both Gibson and Andersen around … at least while they can.

Stars end Capitals’ winning streak, pass Blackhawks for West lead

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For two periods, the Dallas Stars seemed to say, “Are you sure the Washington Capitals are the best team in the NHL?”

They chased Braden Holtby and built a 4-0 lead through those first 40 minutes, and that was enough … but barely. The Stars beat the Capitals 4-3 on Saturday, which accomplished the following:

  • Dallas ended Washington’s winning streak at five games. The Stars have now won three straight.
  • This win slides the Stars ahead of the Chicago Blackhawks for first place in the highly competitive Central Division. While both teams sit at 77 standings points, Dallas holds three games in hand.
  • By passing Chicago, the Stars now lead the Western Conference as a whole.

Impressive stuff. Some might even call it a statement game, although others may hold that nail-biting ending against them (possibly arguing that the Stars’ flaws may come back to haunt them in the playoffs).

Dallas’ biggest concern likely has little to do with doubters. Instead, they must monitor the statuses of forwards Tyler Seguin and Cody Eakin.

Long story short, the Stars are red-hot, yet bigger challenges likely lie ahead.

Blackhawks fall to Ducks in OT, lose Hossa to injury

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The Chicago Blackhawks are on edge on Saturday, and it’s not because of what’s currently a close game against the Anaheim Ducks.

(Not that they’re indifferent toward a match against their opponents from last year’s conference final match, mind you.)

Instead, the Blackhawks are quite concerned about the health of Marian Hossa, who needed help off of the ice following an awkward, scary-looking crash into the boards. (Hampus Lindholm delivered the hip check that sent Hossa sprawling, in case you’re wondering.)

You can see that moment in the video above, while My Regular Face’s GIF also captures that troubling moment:

It’s too early to tell if Hossa will bounce back or miss some time from this. Stay tuned for potential updates.

Update: Joel Quenneville seems optimistic about Hossa, broadly speaking:

Ryan Getzlaf scored the overtime game-winner as the Ducks won 3-2 (OT).

Understatement: Saturday was a rough night for Panthers

Nashville Predators center Colin Wilson (33) checks Florida Panthers center Jonathan Huberdeau (11) during the second period of an NHL hockey game, Saturday, Feb. 13, 2016, in Sunrise, Fla. (AP Photo/Alan Diaz)
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If it weren’t for Mike Yeo and the Minnesota Wild, you could argue that the Florida Panthers suffered from the worst night so far.

You can see that Saturday was unpleasant merely from looking at the scoreboard: the Nashville Predators pummeled the Panthers by an unkind score of 5-0.

The pain goes beyond that … literally so.

For one thing, Quinton Howden suffered an upper-body injury and did not return. That’s no good, but if you want to feel sick to your stomach, footage of Brandon Pirri‘s likely lower-body injury (ankle maybe?) may do the trick.

(Seriously, you may be happier if you don’t look.)

The Panthers didn’t make an announcement about Pirri one way or another, so we’ll see if he somehow avoided anything significant.

Either way, it was a night this team would like to forget.